Sickipedia

I was so encouraged to see hundreds of muslim women linking arms in Westminster to show solidarity against extremism. If anything is going to change Islam, its the opinions of their women.

I've just created a new text messaging service for people of colour. Whatsape.

"This observable reaction is also prevalent in stars. When all energy has been expended this massive body will collapse back on itself forming a super dense particle cluster with incomprehensible weight" My physics students nodded and continued to take notes. My fat cunt of a wife gave us all the finger and continued trying to get out of bed.

What the media report: Its too early to tell if this shooting is terror related. What the media mean: Its too early to see if the suspect has a beard.

How many Lepidopterists does it take to change a lightbulb? I have no idea but we can work it out using Mothmatics.

Irate. Are you really angry or just a Scottish person saying "yeah sure"?

Mo Salah shirts have sold out in Scotland. It's not that anyone there gives a shit about Liverpool but it's understandably easy for a nation of illiterate alcoholics to mistake the name with "No Salad"

Feminists are right, everything in life is a gender issue. Mostly because they can be complete cunts and utter dicks about anything.

Maybe im getting old but I cant understand why "gender fluid, non binary pansexuals" have any kind of modern forum. As far as I remember fat lesbians with multicoloured hair have always been around.

Whats brown and smelly? Islam.