Sickipedia

Me: "This show is boring." Boss: "Once again Dave, this is a Zoom conference."

I work as a waiter in a far-right restaurant. I'm not a Nazi, I just take orders.

I stormed the US Capitol building today, And all I got was this bloody t-shirt.

I was shocked when Harry Styles appeared on the cover of Vogue wearing a ball gown. No strappy sandals and last season's colours?

Headline: "US-Mexico border: Parents of 545 separated children still not found." Fuck me, I didn't know a parent could have 545 children.

Amuse yourself by creating future band names using today's headlines: * Morgue Overflow * Care Home Cadavers * Underlying Health Condition * Covid Toes * Right Off The Bat * Economic Contraction * Asian Murder Hornets * Death Spike * Pandemic Response * Six Feet Apart * Mutant Virus Strain * High Street Hoarders * Panic At The Tesco * No Sex Until January

News: Trump orders Navy to "shoot down" Iranian boats that harass US ships. The next order will be to sink their planes.

News: Zebra in Florida shot by owner after escaping from enclosure. Finally answering the question: "What's black and white and red all over?"

America. Where people will fight in the street for democracy, But won't cross the street to vote.

Now that my son is old enough to do chores, Every day is Father's Day.