Sickipedia

Recently I’ve been desperate to improve things with my home life, so I slipped a few drops of Rohypnol into the wife’s early evening glass of wine. Did it have the desired effect, you’re wondering? It certainly did... a few thoroughly enjoyable hours of peace and fucking quiet.

Tingting What a Jamaican calls the triangle in the percussion section of an orchestra. Can this, officially, be the last ever fucking Jamaican ‘ting’ joke.

Oh joy. Is it me, or is there a new hannah? “Innit” has 15 posts on the first page of the ‘newest’ section. Does anyone think they’re one and the same maybe?

Astonishingly, Ingvar Kamprad‘s daughter is married to Alän Quea.

I phoned the muscular dystrophy helpline. She said, “Can you hold?” I said, “Are you taking the piss?”.

I used to own an old cinema but it was losing money every week. Then a thought suddenly came to me... Bingo!

You can watch the star of Rillington Place have a haemorrhoid operation on YouTube. It’s entitled, “The Grapes of Roth”.

What a wonderful day for walking into Boots the Chemist, and shouting SUPERDRUG! Ken Dodd

Seems like Stephen Hawking has taken Jamie Carragher’s advice to stop dribbling.

Some people find their favourite penalty saves incredibly emotional. I find Pickford’s moving.