Sickipedia

Coming soon, a new season of the Simpsons.

After several hours of talks and uproarious laughter by both parties, Putin and Trump today finally solved the problem of Ukraine. The war is now over with Trump having sold Ukraine to Putin for 10 billion dollars. Former Ukraine president Zelensky has agreed to accept 2 billion extra dollars from Trump and whatever passes for a green card nowadays. European arms dealers have declared a week of mourning and are now looking to offload cheap merchandise to whomsoever is willing to make a bid. Drones will deliver themselves to wherever the buyers want. Alls well that ends well.

A strange thought has been pestering me all day Do comedians die laughing ?

Pope Francis is dead. Is it time we had a scouse pope ?

Liverpool training ground, Monday Feb 10th 2025.

Preparations are underway for the handover of Presidential power at the White House next Monday. “it was a doddle” said Joe Biden. “We didn’t need to have hordes of press at the front door or special lighting or flags, all we need to do is to leave the ground floor bathroom window at the back slightly open and his newly confirmed felon status will enable him to break in. He will of course have to navigate the various intruder alarms as well as the killer dogs which roam the premises when it is left empty. All the cameras will be left running, highlights on CNN later in the day. God bless America”

It's a mad mad mad mad world, Trumps latest picks to help humiliate America.

This Kawasaki virus is nothing new, I suffered from it in the 1970s, I only recovered when I changed to a Honda CM200.

The International Committee for the Exploration of the Seas (ICES) has just announced the terrible news that the numbers of cod in the North Sea are so low that cod fishing should be banned next year to prevent extinction of the fish due to the increasingly low numbers available to spawn. Interestingly enough, today is the 70th anniversary of the introduction of fish fingers to the UK markets. It is a well known fact that in order to get a female fish to release her eggs, a male fish has to finger her to orgasm. When male cod are caught, it is customary to remove their fingers for the traditional British delicacy before throwing the fish back into the sea, as a result female fish go unsatisfied and do not release their eggs. Since we, in this country eat 1.5 million fish fingers per day, the projected shortage of cod will mean the end of traditional fish fingers although other species of fish are available? The fingering of the female fish does affect the taste of fish fingers. You have probably noticed the distinct odour of fish as you cut through the breadcrumbs to get to the meat within, the contents of the fish finger also tend to taste a bit fishy. Suggestions to get round this problem such as resorting to eating cod balls in batter have been declined by ICES for similar reasons as no balls means the castrated cod cannot father codlings. Would baby octopus legs or starfish limbs make a good alternative to fish fingers, they would be available in eight or five packs. Enjoy you lunch today, whilst you still can.

Err....yes, that's how bomb vests are supposed to work !