Sickipedia

George Kerr a Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?' George asks the chemist. "Six pence" says the chemist. "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence" says the chemist. George painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging. A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout. George marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face. "The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."

I think I might have a shower Just checked, yes I do, it's upstairs.

This is not a joke but a legitimate concern. In this modern politically correct climate. How safe is this site against being outed for racist comments and jokes? Can we be traced?

Janet Street Porter walks into a bar & says, 'Can I get a large aperitif?' Barman says, 'I doubt it'

If the Starship Enterprise boldly goes where no one has gone before ....How come they always meet somebody .

You can't get quicker than a Kwik Fit fitter. Which is great because, when looking for crucial repairs and modifications on a vehicle to which I entrust my life daily, I'd definitely take speed over quality every time.

This guy told me that I was the lowest of the low in this country. I don't get it, how could I be. Here I am, a white male, born and bread in this country, able bodied, reasonable education, middle aged, Christian beliefs. etc etc. So how can I be the lowest of the low?

I was in a mood earlier because the wife accused me of always trying to be clever. After hours of awkward silence, she asked "What's the matter?" I replied "It is the basic structural component of the universe."

What if the light we see at the end of the tunnel when we die is really us just being pushed out of a vagina into our next life?

I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.