Sickipedia

Is it possible to take a graft from your buttocks and donate it to someone close to you that's not a relative? Arse skin for a friend.

I've developed a morbid obsession that manifests itself in examining the circumstances of those that have died due to the Covid-19 virus. I fear I may have contracted Coroner Virus.

Tip of the day: To avoid infection, people must not cough near you; they must be far from you. If they cough near you, tell them to far cough.

Tip of the day: To avoid infection, people must not cough near you; they must be far from you. If they cough near you, tell them to far cough.

"Dad. Are we pyromaniacs?" "Yes, we arson."

A giraffe walks into a bar and the barman says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve Heineken here".

Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow, when it was recently visiting Dublin. "Where did you get that from?", the expert asks. "It's been in my loft for 40 years. I think it's an heirloom", says Paddy. "Do you have insurance?", asks the expert. "No , should I?" asks Paddy. "Yeah", says the expert, "it's your water tank."

I can't believe how this lockdown is affecting people! My wife was furious with me yesterday all because I put a stick in a non-stick pan.

What you you get when you cross an Iranian with a Scotsman? The Ayatollah Hogmanay

What you you get when you cross an Iranian with a Scotsman? The Ayatollah Hogmanay ...