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Top tip for residents in Liverpool. If you lock yourself out don't worry about phoning a locksmith. Simply wait behind some bushes until someone breaks into your home and follow them inside.
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They say men can't multitask. What a load of rubbish. I can have sex with my wife and think about a completely different woman at the same time
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I was asked if I wanted to go to the next Black Trans Women Lives Matter protest. I said if I wanted to march with a load of fat white blokes I'd go to an EDL rally
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They call it a hung parliament because everyone in it is a massive cock
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Saudi Arabia has just opened itself up for tourism. I can't wait to go with my husband.
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Justin Trudeau has responded to photos that have emerged of the liberal Canadian president wearing black-face. 'I prefer the term African-American face'
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They say that in marriage all your dreams come true. If my dreams came true I'd probably have aids by now.
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Is that a flying saucer hovering over area 51? Better grab the shittest camera I own to film it
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Its coming home so fast I'm worried I haven't got time to sort the spare room out.
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Why is it guardian readers are offended if you call Caitlyn Jenner Bruce but insist on calling Tommy Robinson yaxley-lennon
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Promoting false information
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