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The local tramps are looking rough today after celebrating pancake day eve.
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"The fucking cops are on to us!" I shouted after watching the helicopter hover above us for 20 minutes. "Calm down mate, you work for the coastguard!" Said the guy I'd just plucked out of the sea.
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Held the vote up arrow down and it showed members emails and ip addresses! WTF!
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I called at my local petrol station to get something for my wife tomorrow. 'A gallon of petrol and a lighter' Whoosh.
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My wife just text me saying she'd bought a seat that fits five people. "Great, that should take your weight but I thought you were out looking for a car?"
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I was sacked from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic so I destroyed their computers. There's no files on me
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I'm bored of hearing, "When I was a lad....." I told my Thai girlfriend.
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Dementia is a terrible disease. I've just watched a relative eat shit. I doubt my son will let me cook jacket potatoes for him in the future.
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My ex was a barmaid. I wank over her pitchers.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
01-
Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
02-
As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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