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chudgee

Member since 7 years ago

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The local tramps are looking rough today after celebrating pancake day eve.

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"The fucking cops are on to us!" I shouted after watching the helicopter hover above us for 20 minutes. "Calm down mate, you work for the coastguard!" Said the guy I'd just plucked out of the sea.

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chudgee

4 years ago-Other-Stupid

Held the vote up arrow down and it showed members emails and ip addresses! WTF!

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I called at my local petrol station to get something for my wife tomorrow. 'A gallon of petrol and a lighter' Whoosh.

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My wife just text me saying she'd bought a seat that fits five people. "Great, that should take your weight but I thought you were out looking for a car?"

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I was sacked from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic so I destroyed their computers. There's no files on me

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I'm bored of hearing, "When I was a lad....." I told my Thai girlfriend.

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Dementia is a terrible disease. I've just watched a relative eat shit. I doubt my son will let me cook jacket potatoes for him in the future.

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chudgee

5 years ago-Other-Random

My identical twin likes to pretend I'm him.

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My ex was a barmaid. I wank over her pitchers.

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