Sickipedia

I bet the muslims are gonna milk this van thing

The Finsbury park terror attack has nothing to do with Christianity, its just part and parcel of living in a big city.

How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dads dick tastes sour

A man goes into a sex shop and wants to buy a vibrator for his wife for when he goes away on business. The sex shop owner says he has just the thing, a vibrator called the "voodoo dick" that has the ability to imitate your partner as if you were having sex with them. "how does it work" the man askes, the owner says all she has to do is give the voodoo dick the instruction of "my pussy" and it will pump away. The man decides to buy it. The next day he is about to go on business and gives his wife the "voodoo dick" and instructs her on how to use it. The wife gets bored the next day and decides to give the voodoo dick a test and says "my pussy" and it starts pumping away, after 20 minutes shes had enough and says "stop" but it doesn't stop and just keeps going, she tries all sorts of commands but none will work, after half an hour of trying to get it to stop she decides to drive to the sex shop for help. Driving down the motorway whilst having multiple orgasms she is swerving in the lane and she spots a flashing police siren in the rear view mirror signalling for her to pull up. The policeman comes up to her window and says "maam do you have any idea why i've pulled you over?" "honestly officer it wasn't me it was the voodoo dick" "Pff yeah, voodoo dick my arse"

Islam is a vans best friend.

The old sickipedia raised me into the cunt I am today.

If you think you've heard the last Diane Abbott joke on here you've got another 584 things coming.

Edited out

Bought some trainers off a drug dealer and I've been tripping all day.

Maddie is an anagram of I'm dead.