Sickipedia

I can’t believe it’s rioting season already. I still have my Covid decorations up.

Russia 2021: second strongest army in world 2022: second strongest army in Ukraine 2023: second strongest army in Russia

Sunday Times: Harry and Meghan want apology from Palace. “We’re so sorry Diana’s bastard and his halfbake wife are such cunts,” a Palace spokesman replied.

“Man died on Everest, doing what he loved.” Standing in a queue.

“If I died,’ the wife asked, “would you re-marry?” “Oh, no,” I said, trying to nip this in the bud. ‘You, you don’t like being married?,” she asked, tears forming. “Oh, I do. I suppose I would re-marry, yes.’ “Would you take down the photos of me, and put up photos of her?” “Well, yes. She might not feel comfortable with photos of you around.” “Would she sleep in our bed?” ‘I think so. Married couples share beds.” “Would she use my golf clubs?” “Oh heavens no. She’s left-handed.” —(My uncle likely stole this from somewhere…)

You just can’t please some folks. Niggers have been ‘taking a knee’ for years in protest. A cop in Minneapolis joins in, and somehow it’s not appreciated.

‘I turned to alcohol to cope with the pressure,’ said Wayne Rooney. ‘I drank so much, some of those women didn’t look a day over 75.’

“Heatwave Wildfire in France caused by Self-Combusting Chicken Manure” I mean, if that doesn’t sum up France as a country, what will?

When did Susan Boyle become spokesman of DUP?

“Lord?” “Yes, Prince Philip?” “Just as a word of warning, this Jesus chap, he looks awfully fucking Jewish.”