Sickipedia

Schalke 04... Hannover 96... I think I was 10 years old before I realised that my club wasn’t actually named “West Bromwich 0”.

That Serena Williams is one angry dude.

Over at my Jewish mate’s, I saw Neo Nazi magazines on his coffee table. I asked how he could have that in his house. “That stuff’s great,” he said. I told him he was sick. “Am I?” He asked. “I turn on the telly, it’s all bad news. This is all good news. The Jews control the banks, the Jews control the government worldwide, the Jews control Hollywood...” (Old site)

Guess Adele sang at home as well.

Babies grow up so fast. Even royal babies. One day they’re helpless. The next he’ll be smearing shit on the walls, beating his chest, and peeling bananas with his feet.

Archie’s feet posted to Instagram—but can he peel a banana with them yet?

“Man died on Everest, doing what he loved.” Standing in a queue.

I’m told that 9 out of 10 Americans are complete shit at math. Praise the Lord I’m in the other 1%.

“Heatwave Wildfire in France caused by Self-Combusting Chicken Manure” I mean, if that doesn’t sum up France as a country, what will?

Klopp summoned to America. Why was ownership still getting nasty letters? “Well, we haven’t won the League in 30 years and even though we won a lot of games the locals are upset.” Surely winning the Champions League, that’s all of Europe, that’s better isn’t it? “Well, for some, no.” How can this be? “Um, er, um, .., how to get it across... OK, look: suppose you shoot up a school. You kill a bunch of teachers, and. a couple of cops who responded, but you got there at 4 o’clock so all the kids had gone home.”