Sickipedia

My body's just ran out of magnesium. 0mg!

They say that these bin strikes could turn Birmingham into a third world country soon. I'm not sure if things will improve that much.

Not quite sure where all the Ukrainian refugees heading to Helsinki have gone. They seem to have just disappeared into Finnair..

Prince Andrew is said to be travelling from Balmoral today, personally making a special exception to attend an event to commemorate 9-11. Although he's apparently been left disappointed after discovering it's for the 2001 terror attacks and not to celebrate the age range

BBC News: "Woman investigated for pretending to be a doctor". Tip of the iceberg. What about the thousands of other women with medical degrees who think they're doctors?!

Surprisingly, I've been really enjoying watching the Paralympics on Channel 4. I have to say though, why Ukraine are only 8th in the medals table is beyond me! If any country were able to flood that competition with amputees this time around, it should be them.

Sky News: Two men die after being pulled from water in Bath. How small were these men?

I called the National Bullying Helpline today for some support with an incident at the office. But when I asked for help to prank this annoying ginger cunt at work, they just hung up..

I was talking to my mate who's a bodybuilder. He said, "I've given up on protein powders". "No whey!" I replied.

The UK Supreme Court is to announce the definition of a woman today, following a Trans legal battle with the Scottish government. This follows legislation brought in by Nicola Sturgeon, the previous man in charge at Holyrood.