Sickipedia

Patrick Stewart can actually grow a full head of hair, its just every role hes ever been offered is playing the part of a bald man

It can only get worse for Prince Andrew if it comes out that he cracked one off to princess Diana's post mortem photographs

Been suffering terribly with haemaroids recently, suppose it makes a nice change from the erectile disfunction

"Who else can we get to serve on the board of peace?" "You remember that Blair bloke who helped his mate murder half a million people"

Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe said the lowest point of his career was when his second cousin paula shit on the floor during the 2005 London marathon

Keir Starmer defended Peter Mandelson after no10 knew about Epstein emails, he's quoted saying 'he's gay so he didn't get involved he only watched'

Credit where it's due, the irony of Israel bombing a ceasefire meeting is hilarious

I'm not racist, but David Lammy really makes me wish I was

Calls to scrap facial recognition technology at Notting hill carnival, as it may be racially biased. How many different types of black people are there then?

So the missus has kicked me out and I've had to find a place on my own. It's so lonely, sat here in a big empty flat on my own. On the plus side I can finally watch porn and have a wank with the sound on