Sickipedia

Do you think Joe Biden knows he's no longer running? Or are they just gonna tell him he won and let him play president in the old peoples home? 'we need to put more pressure on them Russian ninja turtles' 'ok Joe we'll do that as soon as you've finished your soup'

If only Gary Glitter and Jimmy Saville had taken a leaf out of Phillip Schofields and made a cringe apology documentary. We'd still have a glam rock star and be able to watch it on top of the pops

My missus just said 'oh look the pride of Britain awards is on' her 11 yr old son replied 'dont tell me they're doing awards for the gays' 🤣

I hope they don't elect an African pope, being molested is bad enough without adding AIDS into it

Completely forgot it was Eid yesterday. Soon realised when it took me 40 mins to get an Uber and got picked up by a bloke called steven

Well I have to say Elon that I think it's safe to say that ketamine and mushrooms does not cure autism

I'm on holiday in magaluf and it's so touching how many young African men are concerned about a couple that have gone missing. I've had at least 14 black men ask me about Charlie and Mandy

David Blunkett warns that Islamist extremism is fuelling a rise in anti semitism. Well who'd have thunk it

I don't blame Rachel Reeves for crying. I'd cry too if I had to sit next to my moron of a boss, who can't get his stupid sentences out cos his tongue is too big for his mouth. And pretend he knows what he is doing

Former head of the royal navy Ben key sacked for having an affair with female subordinate. People have joined the navy for centuries so they could bum another bloke without their wives finding out, but as soon as someone shags a woman it a problem