Sickipedia

Bill Withers is definately not having a lovely day

Hi, I'm Philip Schofield, and if you want to sell your car in under 60 seconds go to my website and enter you details at "wesuckanycock.com"

Just seen the coverage of the terrorist incident in Streatham, and the bleeding heart Liberal green, Jonathan Bartley could resist getting his Mush on the TV. I'm assuming the police must have chased the culprit in tesla's and used carbon neutral, ethically sourced, recycled bullets because the cunt had fuck all to say about it.

Your heart has to go out to the residents of FishLake, their homes devastated by an unpredictable flash flood. On the other hand at least the dumb fuckers who moved there now know why the village got its "quirky" name

Just seen the advert for Gino de campo's frozen ready meals on the telly, I never realised the Italian word for dogsshit was "fantastico"

I'm really pissed off with the government poroguing parliament, not because of the political implications for democracy, but because its put that smug twat Gina Miller back on every fucking news bulletin.

Just been past the job centre and there was a massive queue down the street outside, wondered what the hell is happening, then I realised we have a PPI call centre in the town

Can anyone else see the irony that lord "Adonis" actually looks like uncle fester from the Adams family

Stacey Dooleys latest piece of investigative journalism into illegal immigration in the US, has produced quote, "finding fugitives is like popping pimples", stacey was asked, "is this because you need to apply pressure to find them" , she replied "no it's because they cum all over my face, and often 3 or 4 at a time"

Just seen on the BBC news, this sick headline "Children in care in Nottingham 'abused by predators'" It's time to drag "Arnold 'Dutch' Schwarzenegger" Out of retirement, he'd sort these fucking Alien paedos out, dirty bastards. I blame fucking Brexit for this mess. Rant over