Sickipedia

I asked Nigel Farage if he was afraid of sheep. "I dunno" he replied, "Is lamb a phobia?"

I'm considering making a film about King Charles III and how he got to the throne - ' Two Weddings and a Funeral'.

There's currently a Chinese Navy ship collecting intelligence off the East coast of Australia. Pity they couldn't have anchored off Wembley as they could have switched off all their equipment.

When the Bible said Cardinal Pell should give little children succour, God should have known he might take it literally

Free BBQ in Paris now on. Menu: Roasted cock and bull in Pell sauce

New Definitions Symbolic – Imitation testicle Flattered - Someone stepped on it after a coypu passed by Fettered – Interestingly shaped Greek cheese Unfettered – Vegan Greek salad Anabolic – a. And what would you like with your penis transplant, Sir? b. That goes nicely with your transition, Miss. Deterred – Clean up after falling over in Kilburn Panting – Jamaican cooking device Brucellosis – a disease only affecting Australians Hospice – Tasting note for American beer Balloon – Mad sheep Undeterred – An age-related accident Diphthong – Low beam underwear Harpist – After drinking a six-pack of Special Brew Contagious – The time it takes for an old git to do anything Melancholy – A fruit that rounds up sheep Focaccia – a. Jeffrey has written another crap book b. Carrie has fun in the hayloft Judicious – Kosher washing up liquid Subdued – Kosher underwater device Osmosis – Biblical Australian character

The 'trickle down effect' being promoted by Trussenomics is just the rich pissing on the poor.

Heard that today 81 year old Bill Cosby got a stiff sentence - at his age he's lucky he can still get one.

<The UK has developed a mutant strain of the virus> Not sure if that is referring to Covid or the Tories, but, whatever, we can be proud that they are both British

It has become even harder to identify the cause of the Air India crash - there are so many black boxes scattered around, the searchers did not know where to begin.