Sickipedia

So the bloke who stabbed MP Sir David Amess was called Ali... That is a surprise, I Didnt expect that..

Sarah Harding, you only got yourself to blame. Remember when you was 13 and I asked if I could feel your tits. Your words to me was "Fuck of Sir" If you had not been so frigid I may have spotted the lump.

My Indian girlfriend said I could give her a facial. I almost came on the spot.

Anyone interested in a free ride in a Helicopter, it’s a flight for 4 people. I’m still looking for 2 more to join us. We leave early next Saturday morning (Aug 7th) from Newcastle and will fly to Poole where we will have a late breakfast and then onto a yacht for lunch. Then we’ll do a flight to Jersey and return to Poole for dinner, then fly back home. If interested please message me Preferably someone with a Helicopter and Yacht; otherwise we can’t go.

No one have thought of asking Derick Chauvin how his knee is, I bet its painful

Following the 41 gun salute in Portsmouth this afternoon, President Macron of France has phoned Boris Johnson to surrender just in case.

Before all you sick Bastards makes jokes about Prince Phillip just remember the poor Queen, with Covid restrictions she is going to have to decide what 30 people to invite to the funeral.

It turns out that when you are asked who your favorite child is, you are suppose to pick one of your own. I know that now. Don't know how long I'm going to be at this police station

I’m so glad I was taught how to play the recorder at school. It has come in really handy in adult life. I lost count of the times I’ve resolved a difficult situation with a quick blast of three blind mice.

Prime Minister news conference.. we are spending 1 Billion pound, that is £1,000,000,000 for people who don't speak the language to be protected for Covid 19. NO Twat, deport them, £1,000,000,000 saved. I should be chancellor of the exchequer, think what I could save.