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When cannibalism starts, vegans are the closest we have to a free-range, grass-fed meat source.
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I don't know why we all get mad at people who "identify" as something they're not. The United States indentifies as a free country...
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Last night, Will Smith looked like he was from the streets of Philidelphia. And Jada looked like she was from the movie.
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Americans DO apply the metric system: they use 9mm at school.
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Mum tells you not to get tattoos because they're "expensive and permament". Mum also insists you get married and have children.
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If your girlfriend has a friend that annoys you, don't tell her to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is. Stay toxic.
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My mum used to beat me with a metal wire hanger, but she did swtich to a belt once I was born.
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Prince Harry had a frostbitten penis at Prince William & Kate Middleton's wedding. Others had the chicken.
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Ladies: "Mansplaining" is short for "Man explaining".
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If you have a girlfriend you live with and hear a noise outside at night and are too scared to go, just be like "I told this girl to leave me alone!" and she'll always get up and check for you. Stay toxic.
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