Sickipedia

BBC Brotherhood broadcasting company

What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

Tom O'connor only got the job to host "name that tune" after Bernard Manning dropped out, with him it was an slightly different show ....maim that coon.

BBC instead of blatant favouritism towards black and asian celebs and contestants on game and panel shows. Why not have Bame only shows from now on then they'll never lose and look thick and token.

What a wierd weekend. Footballers taking the knee to stamp out racism and then having a minutes silence to honour a white privileged racist.

Some bloke just said to me "you're a very rude man, and I'll tell you that for nothing!" I replied "well you're a cunt!" and charged him a fiver.

Jake the peg

Journalist: "what are your plans to face Lyon Pep?" Pep: "we are going to put them in a very difficult situation" Journalist: "how so?" Pep: "we will ensure they face Bayern Munich"

Just read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.

At last we have a working track and trace system. Simply track any recently awarded government contract and you can trace it back to one of their mates.