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Brilliantly entertaining - Sunday Times. A literary genius - Daily Telegraph. Daft Bastard; - Daily Sport. Owner of a calf called Gravy.
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I tied all of my spaghetti together whilst I was drunk last night. Ended up skipping dinner
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That bottle of Old Spice was fucking shit.. It did nothing to enhance the flavour of my Chicken curry.
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My daughter's are both over 20, neither of them do drugs, they only drink in moderation, and I can honestly say I've never heard a single swear word spoken from either of them. Boring cunts.
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If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would come fourth to save walking up to the Podium.
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If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly I have back issues.
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Saw a sign on the side of the bus today, it said 'One bus takes 35 cars off the road' I was thinking, it depends how aggressive the driver is..
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I know this might make me sound big headed, I can't get my fucking jumper off.
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Remember the clocks go forward tomorrow. The last thing you want is to be late getting up....... to sit in your house all day.
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I asked the Southampton manager Ralph Hasenhüttl if he was happy with last night's performance. He replied, " Nein."
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Instead of calling them flu masks, we should call them coughy filters
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