Sickipedia

That Dad in the Wrigleys Extra advert who nearly catches the new boyfriend trying to fuck his daughter's brains out, why does he raise a sinister smile after shaking the lads hand? Is it because he likes the look of him and wants to empty his sack into his toned arse or does he want to turn this whole thing into a threesome?

I successfully completed my gender reassignment surgery by having my fat knob removed. About a week later, I got a letter through the door from the hospital. "Hi there, I'm Dave." it read. "I accidentally shot my face so I just want to thank you for the new nose"

I left work after a gruelling day and immediately took the short walk home. As I opened the front door, my wife threw a fresh mug of coffee at me and was screaming "Who is she?! Who is she?!" "I came here straight from work you maniac" I informed her. "Bullshit" she roared. "It took you 10 minutes when Google Maps says it should only take 8"

I'm in the doghouse again tonight. It's shite being homeless.

I drank so much whisky last night I woke up with a heavy craving for battered mars bars and tartan skirts.

I called tech support and told them my laptop is frozen. "Try pressing the power button" they said. "It's covered in fucking ice" I shouted.

A man walks into a pub and sits next to a fat munter who is wearing a leather mini skirt. Before long, his throat gets dry, his heart beats faster, his knees get weak and he's got a massive erection. "Making you all hot and sweaty under the collar am i?" she winked. "Fuck off! Its because your leather skirt smells like a new car."

I got fucking sanctioned by the DWP earlier. Apparently my life goal of moving just enough so people don't think I'm dead doesn't meet their job seekers criteria.

They say the best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day....not counting that time i found Leroy balls deep in my missus.

This is the old Sickipedia speaking. Pull your finger out of your HIV infested hoops and for once in your miserable lives make me belly laugh you cockless snowflake fucks.