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While in hospital, I said the words no nurse ever wants to hear. "I need a second bedpan."
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"Waiter! Why is our food taking so long?" "My apologies, sir. The chef is working from home."
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The doctor said I should eat more vegetables. So I got a Down girlfriend.
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News: Meat Loaf dead at 74. Ironically, the last time he made anything worth listening to.
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News: Meat Loaf dead at 74. Ironically, the last year he made anything worth listening to.
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The wife just gave me the "I'm leaving and taking the kids with me" speech. I took it surprisingly well.
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Novak Djokovic obviously didn't think clearly before flying to Australia. No Aussie knows what a fake Serbian vaccination certificate looks like.
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News: Monkey escapes after transport lorry crashes in Pennsylvania. Due to the proximity to Philadelphia, officials say it's like finding a needle in a haystack.
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What are the favourite sports at the Africa Cup of Nations? Fencing and squash.
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"Your papers, please," I say in my most sinister accent. I love being a Covid pass inspector in Israel.
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Promoting false information
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