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bedpan

Member since 3 years ago

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bedpan

3 years ago-Other-Professions-Post Rating : 0

While in hospital, I said the words no nurse ever wants to hear. "I need a second bedpan."

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bedpan

3 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Coronavirus-Post Rating : 8

"Waiter! Why is our food taking so long?" "My apologies, sir. The chef is working from home."

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3 years ago-Sex and Shit-Cunnilingus-Post Rating : 3

The doctor said I should eat more vegetables. So I got a Down girlfriend.

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3 years ago-Celebrity Death-Any famous person. -Post Rating : 0

News: Meat Loaf dead at 74. Ironically, the last time he made anything worth listening to.

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3 years ago-Celebrity Death-Any famous person. -Post Rating : 4

News: Meat Loaf dead at 74. Ironically, the last year he made anything worth listening to.

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3 years ago-Other-Family-Post Rating : 11

The wife just gave me the "I'm leaving and taking the kids with me" speech. I took it surprisingly well.

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3 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Coronavirus-Post Rating : 7

Novak Djokovic obviously didn't think clearly before flying to Australia. No Aussie knows what a fake Serbian vaccination certificate looks like.

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3 years ago-Racism-African-American-Post Rating : 3

News: Monkey escapes after transport lorry crashes in Pennsylvania. Due to the proximity to Philadelphia, officials say it's like finding a needle in a haystack.

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bedpan

3 years ago-Sports-Football-Post Rating : 2

What are the favourite sports at the Africa Cup of Nations? Fencing and squash.

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3 years ago-Racism-Jew-Post Rating : 6

"Your papers, please," I say in my most sinister accent. I love being a Covid pass inspector in Israel.

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