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beatagger

Member since 4 years ago

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beatagger

3 years ago-Sex and Shit-Ugly-Post Rating : 44

James Caan was in my two favourite movies; The Godfather and Honeymoon in Vegas with Sarah Jessica Parker. One, a film where a man wakes up in bed and sees a horse's head lying next to him, and the other a mafia drama.

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beatagger

3 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 36

My wife claimed she was late coming home tonight because she was ambushed by a group of elderly men who pinned her down and repaired her shoes. Sounds like a load of old cobblers to me.

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beatagger

3 years ago-Politics-Ukraine/Crimea-Post Rating : 34

Bars and restaurants are now requiring proof of Ukraine support.

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beatagger

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Transvestite-Post Rating : 34

A tranny has won the 'Best Actress' award at this year's Golden Globes. And the underwear that kept her cock and balls in place has won 'Best Support'.

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beatagger

4 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 33

Remember that TV show 'Bread'? I had a small roll in that.

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beatagger

3 years ago-Sex and Shit-Paedophile-Post Rating : 32

Took my Uncle for a pedicure today and it was fucking shit. He still fancies kids.

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beatagger

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Gay-Post Rating : 32

My gay son was sick of me making jokes about his sexuality, so he grabbed a kitchen knife and attacked me with it. I'm OK though, as he somehow managed to miss every vital organ. What a shit stabber!

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beatagger

3 years ago-Other-Thoughts-Post Rating : 30

The app is called TikTok, because every video you watch you are reminded of the reasons humanity is running out of time.

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beatagger

3 years ago-Other-Food and Drink-Post Rating : 29

Makes sense that Greggs should go into fashion. Their sausage rolls are so flaky you end up wearing half the fucking thing anyway.

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beatagger

3 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Death-Post Rating : 29

Gutted that Dr. Legg has passed away. He's the closest I've been to seeing a fucking GP in years.

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