Sickipedia

I'm sure it must be Liverpool fans posting all these Vegas jokes, who else would try and milk a tragedy this long.

APPEAL FOR THE FINSBURY PARK TERROR ATTACK After the terror attack at the Finsbury Park Mosque, a just giving page has been set up to help Darren Osbourne get his van repaired and get it back on the road. Please give generously.

"So how long are you in for? " I asked my cell mate. "Only for a couple of minutes, then I'm usually done" he replied as he carried on thrusting.

I saw a kid pretending to be a dinosaur all by himself today, he looked lonely so I decided to join in. After a while his mum came out and told me off. It turns out he had Cerebral Palsy.

Just found out that I'm allergic to condoms. Guess that explains my itchy bum hole then.

What starts with an 'S' and ends in 'ex' and gives Muslims a hard on? Semtex

Learning to ride a bike when I was younger was similar to losing my virginity. I had my uncle holding me from behind.

I want to die peacefully at work just like my dad did, not like the screaming passengers on his bus.

I hate all this terrorist business, I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a bus or a train and think...... "I'm fucking having that!"

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".