Sickipedia

I worked with a Jewish bloke once. He asked me a question and i didn't know, so I told him to talk to the boss, Kyle. It was loud, so a I had to shout. "SEE KYLE! SEE KYLE!". I was sacked for some reason.

I had a horrible holiday in Dover. I got horribly sunburnt and i fell in the sea. My wufe got caught up in a towel while trying to rescue me. By the time the coastguard got us out, I was just babbling nonsense. It was horrible. On the upside, they thought I was a paki "refugee", so now I'm writing this on my brand new iPhone in my mansion while waiting for my £2000 a week giro to arrive

This site is as dead as Olivia Newton John.

The Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars are playing American football at Tottenham today. Finally. Football at that stadium that's worth watching.

An ambulance passed me one day and a box feel off the back. I picked it up and it had someone's toe in it. I called the hospital and told them what I found. They confirmed that the ambulance had arrived at the hospital and were looking for the box. I asked if they were going to send another ambulance out to get it. They said no, but they will send a toe truck. Ok. I know. That was a bad one.

What do you do when you can't satisfy a woman in bed? You log on to Sickipedia and downvote some jokes.

Nothing brings out the kid in you quite like a coathanger

The EBU is investigating the possibility that the Eurovision voting system was hacked. They first became suspicious when the UK got a point.

Anna Karen went from On the Buses to It Ain't Half Hot, Mum.

Boris has managed to organise a party. That's a good start. Maybe one day he could actually organise a piss up in a brewery.