Sickipedia

Last night i Went on the SecretEscapes.com Web site to book a holiday .. got a great deal for £299 including flights.. just wish the Bastards would tell me where it is .

I think i've watched to much porn. I've come to this reasoning as my water boiler has broken down and I'm to worried to call the plumber

I dont understand this Harrison Ford's engine failed, causing him to clip a tree before crashing on a golf course. When he does it, it's a "beautifully executed emergency landing, by an unbelievably well-trained pilot." When I do it, it's a "complete fuck up, by a dickhead who can't be left in charge of a lawnmower."

A word of warning : There is a new phone scam going around A woman.Messages you privately propositioning men. She sends naked pictures of herself in sexy poses along with close ups of her genitals. She is offering an iPhone 7 in exchange for sexual favours. I am especially upset at this last part because, as it turns out the phone wasn't even an iPhone 7. It was a iPhone 6!!! And it obviously has a virus because it's ridiculously slow and on top of that, the power button sticks !

I can not Believe it 54 years since Martin Luther king gave the inspirational speech " I Have A Dream Mind you i doubt people will be talking about My "I have A dream of coming on the barmaid tits" Speech i gave very passionately down the pub last night in 54 years

I don't understand My Wife sometimes she is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".

Q1 Farting Is It ............. A) A noise your Bottom Makes B) A Jamaican looking at something a long way away...... Q2) Parting Is It ............... A) Something Separated ...... B) A Jamaican Telling you about his Golf Score

If a tree falls in the forest on your EX and noone is around to hear it would you still go home and get the black bags and chain saw just to make sure

Do you Have PPI If the answer is "Yes" "Stop using your Penis as a telescope"

windows 10 incognito is a load of crap. I was sitting naked in front of the computer for an hour and all the other people in the Local Library could still see wanking