Sickipedia

When a ginger women gets her vagina waxed why doesn't she go for the landing strip option? because it would then look and smell like a fish finger.

A girl down the pub the other day asked me if I was a lover or a fighter. I replied " a bit of both actually I'm a rapist".

Sometimes I make very basic mistakes with women. I occasionally anthraphomorphise them.

I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision. Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.

You think you've seen some bad shit in your time? Imagine Harvey Price's cum face

I little gypsy girl is trying to put some knickers on and she doesn't know what way they go around so she asks her mother and she says " how many times do I have to tell you yellow at the front and brown at the back".

I was at the pub the other night and a dwarf girl came in.after about 20 minutes I asked her if she fancied a fuck she said "Fuck off you pervert". So I replied "I'm the pervert! You've been staring at my dick for the last half an hour.

If my wife complains about my clothes on the floor I just tell her that it's a dead Jedi.

Q. Why did men invent shopping trolley's? A. To teach woman to walk on their back paws.

I saw a kid the other day playing dinosaurs all by himself in the park, he looked lonely so I went and joined in. About 30 minutes later his mother turned up and gave me a right bollocking. Turns out he had cerebral palsy.