Sickipedia

Maragonner

My new years resolution is to not have intercourse with supermodels.

Aa the last hour of the 12th day of Christmas draws to an end, 2021, I wish you all a Happy New Year, and hope you all are as excited as I am about what is to come. X

If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

I lay on my death bed the other day, with my wife Tina, and my sister Marge by my side. When I saw them getting upset I comforted them - "Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina..."

My wife just called me. She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous." I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

Happy yeah-they-are-always-right day!

Happy Mothers Day to all my one night stands.

Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.

For years now, I've suffered from terrible sneezing fits. Often for over an hour at a time. My nose constantly runs too, and nothing I do or take seems to stop it. I've obviously been worried. Especially now. I eventually reached breaking point and decided to visit my hospital in the hope they could help. After a thorough examination and finding nothing physically wrong, I was sent for tests, the results of which came back today. Turns out I'm allergic to Kleenex.