Sickipedia

I knew I’d be wanking over some of the girls at Wimbledon this year. I just didn’t think it would be over the 2 8yr olds who got rammed by the Range Rover.

I just hope that the black astronaut survives his trip to space. Last time a black guy died of oxygen starvation, we never fucking heard the end of it

‘Staff and customers have rallied to support a bakery owned by the mother of one of four boys found dead in Wales after a car crash’. Sounds like this will help to better their turnover. Incidentally, something her son achieved perfectly with the Fiesta.

Rosie Jones has just finished wishing me a happy new year.

When the Supremes did baby-love, they were added on the list of the most successful groups ever. When I did baby-love, I was added to a very different list.

Not keeping up appearances for much longer.

‘A spectator was killed after he was accidentally struck by a hammer thrown by an athlete at a high school indoor athletics event’. Jesus, that’s a massive hammer blow for his family.

‘I’m the worst parent, says Sara Shariff’s dad’. Kate and Gerrie McCann have vowed to regain their lost title.

‘The former partner of singer James Morrison took her own life after suffering mental health difficulties‘. Having listened to his music, I can’t say I blame her one bit.

RIP to the man who was killed on the Singapore Airlines flight. For his family, turbulent times lie ahead unfortunately.