Sickipedia

What's the most difficult thing for a black dads' to put under the Christmas tree? Their presence

They just opened a new road in Rome named Pastor Way.

Me: "Can I get two bacon and egg rolls with brown sauce?" Shopkeeper: "No, cash or card only"

Apparently Jews were responsible for 90% of carbon emissions and global warming between 1941 and 1945.

What do you call a dark slimy hole that male frogs can't keep out of ? Gisele Pelicot's pussy

Saw Eddie Grant on the bus with his leg in a cast this morning. I asked him where he was he going and he said he was 'gonna hop down to his local B&Q, and buy a tumble dryer.

Went to see a magician last night. He called a black guy up on stage and said " I will make this gentleman disappear in front of your very eyes, "He took off his top hat, tapped it 3 times with his magic wand and pulled out a positive pregnancy test.

My son had tomato soup for lunch and I swear, he spilled more on the table than went in his fat stupid mouth. When he got home from school I collared him and asked. "Right, smart arse, tell me how you are going to remove that filthy red shit off the top of the table?" He said 'Who Liverpool?"

Well the Vatican will be on the lookout for another fat bald white middle-aged nonce to be the next Pope. Make sure non of you lot have got your phone on silent.

Have you seen Wayne Rooney's new haircut? Apparently it was a result of a misunderstanding - Pornhub offered Colleen £100k to shave her cunt