Sickipedia

You have to give Prince Philip credit for his driving record, after all it's the first accident he's been involved in since 1997.

I've told my missus not to eat the chocolate coins on the Christmas tree this year because after March they will be worth a sight more than real fucking money.

England have unleashed their secret weapon in the Ashes test series. Dianne Abbott doing the scoring.

This vegan says to her partner, "Are we having a tree for Christmas this year?" "Yes, " he replied, "it will probably be better than the grass we ate last year. "

A woman has had her arm ripped off after climbing into a jaguars pen to get a selfie. Stupid bitch, she could have climbed into my Jaguar and only had her knickers ripped off.

Sinéad O'Connor to become a Muslim. What a fucking result, the ugly cunt will have to wear a burka.

Sala's cause of death to be revealed. Now I'm no expert but if I was a gambling man i'd be having a few quid on it being a fucking plane crash.

Lot of Nigerian football players protesting like fuck about non-payment of wages and fees. Well I dunno, but maybe they could sent the management an email or something.

This feminist challenged me to do something she couldn't. So I showed her my erection. Her move.

Usually Black Ethnic Rapist For those of you wondering what it meant.