Sickipedia

FAQs on single-source double-mutant triple-helix Corona variant in India.... Q. Why curfew from 8pm to 7am? A. Due to rising temperatures with the onset of summer, Corona likes to step out when it gets cool. Hence the curfew. Q. Is it safe to attend religious places? A. Yes. Corona is afraid of religion and does not attack the lakhs who gather to pray to God. Q. Is it safe to attend political rallies? A. Absolutely. Corona is terrified of politicians, especially the ones who occupy the highest posts. Q. Why are only 20 people or less allowed at cremations? A. Cremations generate lot of heat, which weakens the virus. It tries to escape by jumping from one person to the other. Research has shown that a critical mass of 21 or more people ensures survival of the virus. Hence the restriction of 20. Q. Why are only 50 people or less allowed at weddings? A. Indian weddings generate lot of sound & light, which scares the virus. The virus requires a critical mass of 51 or more people to survive. Q. Why does Corona not attack crowded buses? A. The virus has mutated and acquired human qualities. It hates road traffic and avoids buses due to the longer commute. Hence crowded buses are safe. Q. Are local trains dangerous? A. Yes. Corona prefers trains due to the quick commute. Also, the virus enjoys the breeze when standing on the footboard. Q. Why does Corona not attack slum dwellers? A. Corona cannot stand the competition from malaria & TB and hence focuses on higher income flats. Q. Does lockdown help? A. Indeed it does. Corona hangs around outside the door, waiting for people to step out to pick the newspaper, get the milk, go outside etc. Hence lockdown protects you by ensuring you stay inside your home. Note that Corona never enters your home, it only stays outside. Stay home. Stay safe. Stay mad.