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I was in the pub with my mate last night when he said to me, "Look, mate, I've been having an affair and my wife's getting suspicious. If she asks, I was with you last night." I nodded. "No problem." A minute later, his wife came into the pub and said straight at me. "Dave wasn't home last night - I think he was shagging some slag!" "No, he wasn't," I replied immediately, winking at him. "He was shagging me."
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