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I'll never forget the day, 26th March 2015. A spaceship landed and I was approached by an alien who gave me six numbers. "Use these on your lotto, " he said, "I will return in one week, please be here. " So I rushed off and used the numbers on the lottery. They were shit, not a fucking penny. So I went to the meeting place a week later and sure enough the craft landed again and the alien approached me, "Well I said, those numbers were a waste of time, what the fuck was all that about?" "We've been studying your language and customs for many years now, " replied the alien, "April fool you cunt."
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