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mp47

8 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Obesity-Post Rating : 1

I got barred from Weight watchers today. It wasn't even my fault, it was the fat bitch next to me who spilled her box of maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I had ever seen.

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

My friend was going on a date and asked me for recommendations for places to eat out. I said well your choices are either the vagina or the asshole, I'd go for whichever smells better once you get down there.

90pcrecycledmaterial

27 min ago

A jewish man enters a synagogue and starts praying, "God please help me, I'm in terrible debt, please let me win the lottery, so I can clear everything and stop worrying." Saturday comes and nothing. The following week he returns and prays, "God, my troubles are getting worse, my creditors are chasing me and I am so worried, please let me win the lottery this weekend." Again Saturday comes and nothing. The next week he's back again, "God, I'm desparate now, they're threatening my family, if I don't win the lottery this weekend, I fear one of them will die." A booming voice then comes down from above, "Solly, I'm trying to help, but could you at least meet me half way and BUY A FUCKING TICKET." (Credit- The late great Bernard Manning)

mp47

2 hours ago

Black Friday: 50% off all slaves

gwtp123

4 hours ago

Greta Thunberg says birds are flying out of the country in huge numbers because of air pollution from cars. One flew over the cuckoo's nest.

innit

9 hours ago

Before we split up, my ex asked: For one last time, will you indulge my leather fetishism?. I said No!. I can't be suede.

jackmeough

10 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

scorpiox666 @innit, please for the love of god, please try posting something funny & or edgy you misery spreading loser.

19 min ago - View Post

scorpiox666 Great idea @pattate ……strap a bomb to yasel & pull the cord you miserable unfunny cunt.

22 min ago - View Post

scorpiox666 That shit was barely amusing 50yrs ago when Bernard Manning wrote it ya fuckin’ sad loser. Try coming up with something a lil more original & or funny ya habitual boring cunt.

24 min ago - View Post

scorpiox666 Try coming up with something a lil more original you fuckin’ perennial mind numbingly boring wanker.

27 min ago - View Post

scorpiox666 Face it mate, ya just an unfunny tosser.

30 min ago - View Post

scorpiox666 ….jeez, that meme is older than the internet you unfunny cunt.

31 min ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

dogsbody14

Rank : 1 | Score : 482.70

jackbuntis

Rank : 2 | Score : 381.70

risco

Rank : 3 | Score : 171.90

jimmysammy

Rank : 4 | Score : 169.30

lennyscrevasse

Rank : 5 | Score : 134.70

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