Sickipedia

(Not mine!) A bloke walks into a restaurant fancying some calimari. The waiter points to a fish tank and says: "we only have one squid left. The rare wild mustached green squid." "That'll be fine" says the bloke. "Get it chopped up quick". "Excellent choice sir. I shall summon, Gervais, our French chef." The chef comes out, knife in hand and grabs the squid from the tank, he holds the knife up, but the squid looks at him with puppy dog eyes and whimpers. "Pardone, Monsieur" says the chef. "I just don't have the heart to do it". "Begone!" Shouts the waiter. "I shall summon Hans, our Bavarian pot washer. He is made of sterner stuff." Hans appears and takes the knife in his hand, but again the squid whimpers and a tear rolls down its face and drips from its mustache. "Gott in Himmel" says the pot washer. "Bitte, mein herr, I cannot bring myself to do it". "I'm so sorry sir" says the waiter. "I can't believe we employ such great jessies here". "Never mind" says the bloke. "I guess Hans that does dishes can be soft as Gervais with a mild green hairy lip squid".