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simzter

7 years ago-Jokes With No Home-Children In Need-Post Rating : 16

Decided after a long while to register. I’ve been a long time user (I remember the old site). I always log on and have a read and was put off by the trolls. They now seem to be a minority, and good folks comments (notably Weaverdog) and their bonafide rib-ticklers are what make this site. I’ve decided to come out of the woodwork (not like a puff does from his wardrobe) and contribute. My jokes will be shit - but I can offer comments. It’s clear that this a community and the only way it will improve is if we all do our bit. If you log on to the site when you’re taking a shit at work, and aren’t a cunt - register and say something pleasant :)

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Why did Machado give Trump her Nobel Peace Prize medal? Because nothing screams "peace" like handing your hard-earned award to the guy who once suggested invading Venezuela—now if he accidentally starts a war over it, at least he'll have a shiny excuse to melt down into bullets. "See? It's for freedom... or whatever."

mandylost

2 hours ago

What goes up and down and smells of piss? The lift in a retirement home.

johnnysins

5 hours ago

Fuck me, the death count for the Manchester Arena bombing is much higher than I thought it was. Although I do wonder if Salman Abedi was really the only person to have committed suicide at that event.

hadoken

6 hours ago

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says: "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies: "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

rory

7 hours ago

Q. Who's the best Jewish cook? A. Hitler.

redneon

yesterday

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

risco Old,childish and typical of this shitshow!

2 hours ago - View Post

mandylost They're not there to actually fight, they're there to represent the UK and NATO. Any attack on Greenland by the orange Mussolini will count as an attack on NATO.

3 hours ago - View Post

mrsniggerbaiter Finally you post something that's actually a joke instead of just being a little bitch.

4 hours ago - View Post

newagenazi orage you in agreement?

8 hours ago - View Post

lennyscrevasse Wrong again dograpist, keep digging through

22 hours ago - View Post

risco What?

yesterday - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 52.20

rory

Rank : 2 | Score : 25.90

redneon

Rank : 3 | Score : 24.50

ponga

Rank : 4 | Score : 24.40

hadoken

Rank : 5 | Score : 23.54

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