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Some years ago a flying saucer landed in a park in London. The alien got out, and to his horror saw he had landed on one of the earthlings squashing it flat. Being a peaceful friendly alien, he decided to save the creature, and put it back together, but having never seen a human he did what he could with the bits he could salvage, then took off to return and try first contact another day. The next day a man walking his dog found a pair of human buttocks alive and talking through it's sphincter. It said "blah blah blah brexit brexit bollocks" and that kids is how Boris Johnson was created.
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