Sickipedia

Have you ever thought what you'd do if you could control people just by thinking about it? You could control the world. You could make them believe fighting was wrong, world peace would happen. You could really do anything, and make the world right. I'd make everyone believe that there was no more potatoes in the world and that the only shop that had them in stock was Tesco's in Redditch, because that's where my ex wife works and I know it would piss her off working that hard because of panic buying... bitch

My wife kicked me out because she said I was obsessed with Elton John So I went to stay with.... Daniel, my brother

My son sucks penises He is quite good at it, he sucked my husbands for 6 minutes then swallowed all the spunk All the time I was twatting my own mother off What a fucked up family we are Love glittershitters mum

Has anyone lost £2,000 wrapped in elastic bands? I've found your elastic bands

We were in court sorting out the finances in our divorce settlement . The magistrate looks up and says" "you have put down in your expenditure £1000 a month for scat sex with madame swish" . I replied "if I'm gonna have a woman shit on me every month I want to know I'm getting value for money"

The higher this gets the more I'm hated

Women.

As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.

Bryan Ferry is devastated by the suicide of his Ex Wife.... Well they should have stuck together.

My wife's leaving me because she says I have an unusual obsession quoting Tom Jones lyrics every time I speak ... It's not unusual!