Sickipedia

Ozzy was worth £165 million when he died. At least Sharon can afford a new vibrator.

Mentally-disabled woman , Nnena Kalu , wins Turnip prize.

A priest has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No," says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."

I need to improve my golf handicap So I've made Rosie Jones my caddy, replacing Harvey Price

It's the Disability Premier League Cricket final in Cardiff today. I've had to withdraw because I've got an off stump.

These fucking kids on electric bikes are a menace! Always doing wheelies and getting in the way of traffic, making old people on the pavement jump out of their way. I even saw a kid riding an electric wheelchair around inside Tesco and security did fuck all about it.

Rosie Jones just said to my face "you're ableist" Oh no sorry, my mistake... "It's a quarter to twelve Rosie"

Wouldn't it be great if Shakin' Stevens gets Parkinson's disease

You'll never walk alone? No, but you'll get pushed along by 3 cops to the custody suite.

Just fucked a girl in the disabled toilet. In my defence she is now walking funny.