Sickipedia

I went to the doctor as my hair was falling out. I said "do you have anything to keep it in? He gave me a plastic bag Credit Tommy Cooper probably.

Penguins mate for life. It's not like they'll find a better looking one is it?

When people get too old they take their driving licences off them so that they don't kill anyone on the road. This is what happens next..... They give them a mobility scooter so that they can kill every cunt on the pavement.

The Pope is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, The Pope is in hospital dying....

Aha sang a song called, "Stay on these Roads". Not with Morten Harket at the wheel.

Nice to see Carol Vorderman is still hitting the town dressed in latex. That reminds me, I must buy some mutton.

Experience, the comb life gives you when all your hair has fallen out.

Wayne Rooney has turned down the chance to manage Young Boys. They're the complete opposite to what he's used to.

Steven Spielberg is so old he struggles to walk unaided. Sometimes he even falls over and lands on his face. It's Amblin' Entertainment.

Scientists are saying that pig hearts may soon be transplanted into humans. Which is good news for everyone except Jewish and Muslim people...