Sickipedia

Life is like toilet paper. You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

My feelings about a Labour Government mirror those of a very powerful fart. In the first part, you feel really enthusiastic about the relief, until. ...

Out drinking, my mate told me about "Vabbing". Where young women touch themselves, then dab the aroma on their neck, so the Pheromones arouse guys around them. After a couple more drinks, I thought I'd try it, see if it works for us men. Not really. I looked like I was wearing a Dairylea ruff.

Got home and caught my girlfriend indulging in coprophagia with a gorilla. I told her that this is not going to work out She went fucking apeshit Nod & credit: Irishstoo

Donald Trump has left a real mess on the world stage. He forgot his Depends when he went to Davos.

"I feel for Prince Andrew", remarked Jackbuntis after finishing work. He gets minimum wage and full mashings off Fergie whenever she's pissed enough to endure his rancid, incel ballbag

Biomethane not viable for widespread use in UK home heating, report finds. I dunno. I've warmed things up under the duvet nicely, but the wife's moaning about the smell.

The top Starmer aide forced to resign, made jokes about going down on Diane Abbott. There are some things you don't even joke about.

I was telling a priest about the sad state of our world. "For example," I began, "the rate of child prostitution is far too high." The priest said, "Oh yes, if only it was cheaper."

Doctor doctor I keep getting an erection while having a shit That's perfectly normal due to the bloodflow and stimulation of your prostate. When did this last happen? This morning on a rent boy's chest