Sickipedia

So there i was with my mate on the beach enjoying his christmas present of a day's shooting, when some bloody Jews turns up and have to ruin it for us. I wouldn't mind so much but they don't even celebrate Christmas. They should all be rounded up and shot

A jewish man enters a synagogue and starts praying, "God please help me, I'm in terrible debt, please let me win the lottery, so I can clear everything and stop worrying." Saturday comes and nothing. The following week he returns and prays, "God, my troubles are getting worse, my creditors are chasing me and I am so worried, please let me win the lottery this weekend." Again Saturday comes and nothing. The next week he's back again, "God, I'm desparate now, they're threatening my family, if I don't win the lottery this weekend, I fear one of them will die." A booming voice then comes down from above, "Solly, I'm trying to help, but could you at least meet me half way and BUY A FUCKING TICKET." (Credit- The late great Bernard Manning)

A black kid was in the street doing a three-card hustle game of bonneteau. A Jewish banker pulled up, rolled down his window, laughed and said "amateur," and then sped away.

Police have admitted shooting 2 Jews who were holding the Synagogue doors shut in the Manchester incident, killing 1 of them. They said their officers didn't have the 10p admission fee on them at the time.

The Jewish people are recording their Anthem today. " Losing my religion" Keir Starmer reckons it might inflame tensions and should maybe change it to, "God Bless the Muslim Cause"

Trump: "Foreign forces are trying to control us". Citizens: "Who"? Trump: "That's a very anti-Semitic question".