Sickipedia

Muhammad walks into a bar...

MUSLIMS: When asked about your wife's age, answer in dog years, twenty eight doesn't sound that bad.

What has four legs and ten arms? My pitbull in a mosque

I honestly don't know how devout Muslims can follow all the rules of the Qur'an. The one in our corner shop can't even follow the rule of 'Multi-pack: not to be sold separately.'

Uproar as Imam in Sudan is caught on camera having sex with a 6 year old girl ... The girl is to be stoned to death for cheating on her husband .

Disney have made Ariel black for the next mermaid cartoon . Face book and twitter are in uproar ... "Ariel is white !" they say ... No Ariel is a mythical character, for fucks sake she's half fish . Disney had considered making her a pakistani, but a mermaid that's allergic to water seemed too far fetched .

I was looking over into next-door's garden, when I saw my neighbour Mohammed and his wife, burying their daughter up to her neck and about to throw rocks at her head. Anyway, I called the police and I'm happy to say that British justice has prevailed - I've been charged with religious intolerance and Islamophobia.

I had a phone call from my son's headmaster. "I'm afraid to tell you that a group of Asian lads ganged up on Michael and stuck his head down the toilet." "Little bastards. Is he OK now?" "Unfortunately not. They cut it off first."

My coworker Mohammed was looking depressed so I asked him what was wrong? "My wife's going through "the change" and to be honest I'm just not finding her attractive any more." "What, menopause ?" "No, puberty."

I walked into the pub and shouted, "All Muslims are cunts!" A bloke stood up and said, "I'm very offended by that." "Why," I asked, "are you a Muslim?" "No," he replied, "I'm a cunt."