Sickipedia

I was walking down the street with my wife and she suddenly said "look, there's Justin Welby over there at the bust stop, the Archbishop of Canterbury" I said "nah, it can't be" She said "go and ask him" So I went over. When I came back, she said "well, what did he say ?" I said "he just told me to fuck off" My wife said "well, I suppose we'll never know now"

As one of the oldest fuckers on here, and probably with the most experience of this and the old site, I'm posting this because it seems things are getting out of hand. Would Wewantjokes/Billygoatgruff/Mickhater just leave all posts alone please. Would the so-called trolls please leave everyone's back-catalogue scores alone. If anyone gets offended by any comments on their post, then I suggest this ain't the place for you. As the great Pat Condell says "I don't care if you are offended". This is banter. If you can't cope with a bit of banter, then you ain't a Sicki and should fuck off. What's wrong if someone wants to do my mum up the shitter dry? Knock yourself out. So what if someone clones an ID (I actually think that is fucking hilarious and you should be flattered if that's happened to you). So what if hannah or anyone else posts 6 jokes and hour (more than some complainers do). I think if some of you got your heads from up your own arses and joined in the banter, we might actually end up a bit of a community in the end......now wouldn't that be something?

My neighbour Mohammed once told me those who don’t believe in god need to be more open to faith . He never believed at first until he boarded a packed train with no seats , he closed his eyes and began to pray really loudly for a seat , when he opened his eyes the carriage was empty , he had a choice of seats and even a seat for his backpack!

Have you heard about all these atheists going round killing each other to prove they're a better atheist than the others... no ,me neither

An Indian Guru has not only been convicted of rape he also had 500 of his followers castrated! Load of bollocks if you ask me

Blasphemy. It's a victimless crime.

I've been listening to Genesis today. But even on audiobook the Bible is total bullshit.

Compared to 2020 the year 666 in Englands can't have been that beastly .. It was all Saxon drugs and rock and roll

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.

How many times have we told you vape? Stop lighting farts around others. Spazman's nan was blown out of the fucking window. I fucked her when she was on the ground.