Sickipedia

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the spade.

Son: why is my sister called Teresa Dad: because your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram Son: thanks dad Dad: that's ok, Alan

My dads a Muslim so he likes cum On his face and his bum His name is rick He loves my dick But not as much as my mum

My wife and my car? She started as a mini, became a maxi, is now a Roller. Have I missed any?

Is it just me or has the cat got fat over Christmas asked the wife. No, it's just you... Anyone gotta sofa I can kip on for a couple of nights?

My Nan's 89 years old , almost blind and has Dementia. She's always told me not to be silly with money , and save for the things I want. Suffice to say ; She's the one with a biscuit tin full of Monopoly money , and I'm the one with a Civic type R.

As I was led away in handcuffs, my mum said to me "Darren, this is all my fault, if only I had raised you better......I have not been a very good mother to you have I?" "Mum" I replied...."My name's David"

As a child I used to have an obsession with Posh Spice. It cost my parents a fortune in saffron.

My dads a Muslim so he likes cum On his face and his bum His name is rick He loves my prick But not as much as my mum

I grew up in a single mom household. Having two moms would have been quite weird.