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Family
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704
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704
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14 days ago
Strictly replacements Prince Andrew and Fergie to start presenting soon...
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Awarding Trump the Nobel Peace Prize is like awarding Kate and Gerry McCann the Baby Sitter of the Year award
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when I was a kid my mum would leave notes in my lunch box. You're amazing, I love you. It was nice but I would have preferred sandwiches
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Now that Jeff Bezos' mum has died, Does her coffin get free next-day delivery?
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My grandfather used to say, "Love is the bond that cements everything together. " Lovey fellow, shit bricklayer.
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They say you can fool some of the people all of the time, And all of the people some of the time, But you can't fool mum.
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I've treated my wife and her mother to a Cadbury's hide an Easter egg worldwide. I've even agreed to pay for the travel to find them. They're hidden somewhere in Gaza.
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When I was a kid, my Dad used to key me put my pocket money in a special box under the stairs. I was 15 before I found out it was the bloody electric meter!
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The wife wanted me to be nice to her sister's fat fucking kids. So I said, "My, look how much you've grown . . . sideways."
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