Sickipedia

Nigel Farage claims that one in three Glasgow schoolchildren can't speak English fluently. The other two are immigrants.

A little about me; I live in Glasgow, and my main hobbies are listening to gangsta rap and playing Grand Theft Auto. Only problem is, I can never quite be sure whether the sirens are coming from the stereo, the PlayStation or the street outside.

Racehorse ESCAPES the track and gallops through Scottish town after unseating jockey. Jocks chippy now offering Horse Supper.

In health news: Blood glucose levels 'at an all-time high' in Glasgow schoolchildren. The dealers must be cutting their gear too much.

I knew I had arrived in Wales when I saw that all the livestock magazines were wrapped in plastic.

I was in Glasgow city centre last week, and an American tourist came up to me: 'Say, buddy, ah'm sick and tired a awl this plastic tourist crap! Can you tell me where ah can find an awthennic Glesgow cultural experience?' So I stabbed him.

My Glaswegian cousin posted on Facebook that he's just had his booster jab. That ought to hold him until the methadone clinic opens in the morning.

Glasgow Cop26 summit in crisis as some attendees have requested a salad.

Someone light my farts please.

KIMJONGTRUMP is Vapeman...Pa$$ it on he also loves to fart to Cliff Richard songs.