Sickipedia

Women are like teabags. Once used they lose all their flavour and expand to a useless mess that need throwing away.

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say 'Nigel's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Nigel helped pick them out. Team effort."

I've found out that my wife of 30 years has been cheating on me. When I confronted her about it, she admitted everything, even confessing that her new man took her to Pound Town at the weekend. Well I've just looked on Google Maps and that place doesn't even exist.

After being married for 10 years and having sex with the same woman 3 times a week, I've decided I want some variety. So, tomorrow I'm going to tell her sister that I'm going to try fucking my wife again.

Pretty sure Coldplay won't be able to fix you Andy Byron.

I don't know who Jolene is but if her tits are bigger than Dolly Parton's I say she deserves the win.

In the threesome my wife organised for us, she asked "what do you want me to do ?" "Just sit in the corner and shut the fuck up," I scowled angrily as I was ball-deep in the other woman.

I got a call from the school about an extremely violent picture my son drew of a gorilla raping a pink elephant. He explained when I was there, "This is just what happens after daddy goes to work and mummy's boyfriend Denzel comes to visit."

During World War 2 my grandfather flew a Spitfire against the Germans. and while he was doing that my grandma got spitroasted by the Americans.

When I was young my dad was always knocking things up in the garage. The neighbour's wife, the babysitter, my sister's friends...