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This midget said to me, "What exactly do you want me to do again ?" "Stand by the piano and do your best to keep time; the instructor said I need to get a metregnome."

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There was a dwarf in the pub last night, crying into his pint about how his condition stops him pulling women. I said to him, 'Dude, that's easily solved! Just buy a half pint and sit at the back, and they'll think it's perspective.'

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